Merry Christmas - geseende Kersfees and happy Hanukkah to all

I am not really in the Christmas mood this year. We have not hoisted our Christmas tree or even put up a single decoration. Sad people that we are we just have no energy at the moment. But today I thought I should at least try a bit of ho ho hoing. I decided making chocolate goodies as gifts for friends as a start and even looked at containers to put said goodies into. But then I didn't buy them. Does that make me Madame Grinch? Well no, I am not trying to steal other people's Christmas cheer. And I might still feel inspired, just not today. And if I do make chocolate stars and Christmas trees or even truffles, I could end up tasting them. No, let me re-phrase that .... I would end up tasting them. And once I start taste testing them, who knows where it might finish up. I could end up sitting over a bowl of truffle mix saying silly things like, "My precious, my precious." And fighting off all competitors to my treat.

When I get depressed I do tend to look for comfort food. After we were told Barry had cancer in his 'good' eye (the other eye is glass, so not technically bad on its own. Optically challenged definitely.) We had a bag of biltong/jerky in the cupboard that was sacrificed on the altar of comfort food. Sorry Morne, it was supposed to be your Christmas present but is sadly no more. Consumed by the blues. But that was still not enough. Barry prowled the kitchen in search of more comfort. Our kitchen is not really big enough to be prowled around. It is not even big enough to swing a cat. Maybe a mouse? Anyhow he found no forbidden foods until he spied the dried wors that was supposed to be a stocking filler for said nephew. Sorry again Morne. All eaten up. Just imagine if he had found some chocolate truffle mixture? Well, obviously the comfort part would have been fulfilled but the skyrocketing blood sugar levels would have spoilt the effect. As I say the biltong/jerky and dried wors died a terrible death and Barry was still prowling. When the District Nurse visited she found us both knee deep in a bowl of popcorn. Sprinkled with salt ... no sugars in sight. She didn't blink an eye and continued on with her assigned tasks .. tasks like telling me I am not allowed to swim over Christmas in the sea or even in a cuddle puddle type pool. Purgatory! Maybe I will tell her I tripped over a shell and just fell into the waves? Don't know if she will believe me? Depression was still lurking and that is when Barry found the jelly/jello. I think this comfort food journey is almost over and we will be back to salads and stuff in no time at all. But we did enjoy the jelly/jello.

I have been asked to set out the Christmas programme for Church on Sunday 23rd. The problem starts with me wanting to put all sorts of fascinating stuff into the narration. The fact that Mary had to walk 180 km (100 miles) while 9 months pregnant. No comfortable carriage for Mary. Just sore feet and a bony backed donkey. You often see her perched on the back of a donkey. How horribly uncomfortable that would be. Those donkey backs are very bony! Then the shepherds being the only ones to see the angels in the heavens. There must have been thousands of people in Bethlehem. Many of them sleeping on the roofs of the houses. How did they miss choirs of angels singing and lighting up the sky? I love looking for symbolism in things and maybe the symbolism is that the shepherds were humble and not worried too much with things of the world. But then I double guess myself and say that looking out for marauding wolves is very worldly. My problem is that I analyse things too much. My cousin says that people in her church are concerned about who the Magi or wise men were and how many of them there really were. That particular issue has never worried me. But people sleeping on a roof in Bethlehem that didn't notice dramatic events taking place right above their heads? Maybe they had been drinking? But all of them not noticing anything???? In paintings we see baby Jesus lying in a wooden manger on a bed of straw. Well in Israel they don't grow straw. And wood was a precious commodity and not usually used for mangers. The manger would more likely be carved from limestone and used as a water trough. Maybe Joseph laid a sheepskin in the manger and not straw? You see, I told you I overthink things. I can imagine Joseph as a carpenter (and no that does not mean he lays carpets as a young child once told me) trying to keep himself busy during the labour. Did he go looking for a midwife or a doctor or someone to help? How come she didn't have any female relatives with her? And if Bethlehem was Joseph's ancestral town how come none of his rellies gave them a place to sleep? Shucks in our family we have slept in baths and on passageway floors when visiting family. None of his family took them in. Really? How rude. Maybe 2000 years ago things were different and relations were not as accommodating? I bet Mary was glad she didn't have to give birth amongst the crowds inside the inn. I know I would not have been happy with dozens of strangers around me when I gave birth. Oh okay. There were dozens of strangers around me when I gave birth but that was because it was a teaching hospital and the 'strangers' were doctors and nurses. Alright maybe not so much different than giving birth in an overcrowded hotel. Analyse thyself Patricia.

I have noticed that carols are few and far between on the radio and TV. Years ago you would have been inundated with weird and wonderful carols from Snoopy and his Red Baron to Pat Boone and his White Christmas. Now we don't hear a thing. If I want carols I have to scratch through my CDs or go on Youtube or Facebook. I was singing a song to my youngest granddaughter when she turned around and said, 'Please stop singing Ouma.' She is three years old and much prefers things like 'Let it go' and The Wiggles. My singing is no where good enough to compete with them. But who cares? I am off to find Maria Carey or Michael Buble or maybe even Boney M to lift my spirits today. Carols I can sing at the top of my voice and if I see Barry sticking cotton wool in his ears ... well too bad. It's only one month a year and really this year has not lived up to its hype. It was not a 'happy new year' or prosperous or any of those other things we wish each other in the first week of the year. It has been sucky most of the time. Okay, my garden is blooming and even my guavas are looking juicy but health wise it has been sadly lacking. I spoke to a friend this morning who is substantially older than myself and she had recently fallen off her mobility scooter and injured her back. I don't know if it is me that has been the jinks this year and I am affecting those around me with ailments. Oh okay, I know that is being a bit egocentric. The whole world does not revolve around me, myself and moi. And yes, I did give my friend a listening and sympathetic ear and not assail her with my weird ideas. Maybe I should have offered to sing her a carol? Or would that be adding insult to injury. Our daughter's cat got mauled by a dog and had its front leg amputated. She said that it was because the vet cost an arm and a leg .. or a cat's paw maybe? And as to Barry and his eye. Last time he had cancer in his eye we were quick to say 'take it out'. But this time it would be seriously short sighted ... sorry bad pun. So chemo for Barry is all he is getting in his Christmas stocking. The old belief that if you are bad you get a piece of coal in your stockings ... well coal would be an improvement. But then you can always give the coal away when you go first footing on New Years day. So maybe not a bad thing after all?

Oh well folks, don't let Madame Grinch upset your ho ho hoing. If I do manage to make and give away some truffles it will be a Christmas miracle and we can all pray for that.